Friday, October 10, 2008

to do or not to do???

Okay, so I need a little help!! I have truly been blessed by having a job that I can take Ashalyn with me to. I'm a nanny in Archbold for a very nice family that has allowed me to take Ashalyn to their house. Everyone is telling me that this is the perfect job. But I struggle with it sometimes, let me explain. My ideal job would be to create my house into an educational environment and take in a few children to teach, almost like a preschool and I could still have Ashalyn with me. In college I took several early childhood education classes focusing a lot on children ages before they even get to school. There I learned every aspect of teaching children at an early age and all about their developmental milestones early in life. This is the age that excites me. Call me a nerd but my favorite thing about working in the daycare I worked in, was the HUGE messes the 2 year olds made painting and the 12 months old made when teaching them to eat with a spoon on their own. and POTTY TRAINING!!! That was I think my biggest enjoyment. To see every child get excited when they used the "big kid" potty. And for me to show all my excitement when one of them came in in "big kid" underwear. I am just so ready to have that back. I love my job, and love the kids that I watch, and REALLY love taking Ashalyn with me and spending the day with her. So, where's the problem?? Any toys I want for her I have to haul back and forth every day, she doesn't have her bed there so she sleeeps in her car seat or on a blanket on the floor all day, and I still have to do my job of cleaning the house, laundry, etc, so their is not the stimulation for her that I'd like. So, do I give up the opportunity of taking her with me and find a sitter, (which my job pays wonderful for being able to take her with me, but to pay for a babysitter on top of it, i might as well not work, honestly!!) to where at the sitter she will have more toys, more interaction, a place to lay, etc. and me worry non stop all day about whether she is okay or being taken care of. Or do I continue my job here, bring her along, and feel like I am failing because I am not stimulating her with the things I feel are important?
Like I said, my ultimate goal, when we have a bigger place to start my own little educational daycare right in my home. I want a room where we can have huge pieces of paper on the floor and paint to the music, or an infant climbing mat, or have our building blocks to teach Ashalyn and the other children the concept of size, color, cause and effect, etc. a play gym for her to lay on so she can stare at the colors, listen to the music, etc.
I truly feel like here she is not being stimulated enough and that is why she sleeps constantly during the day. At night I read to her, play with her, sing to her, show her her toys, etc. and she just coos away, smiling at me non stop and such a happy little girl! She stays awake almost all evening then til bedtime!! Here, i feel like all we have is the swing, which puts her to sleep and the few toys that I am able to lug along! She holds her rattles now and a few of her connecting toys, that she needs more things here!!
So back to my question, do I continue bringing her and just get used to her schedule, sleeping all day til it's time to go home, or do i do the dreaded of leaving her with a sitter so we can get her on a schedule at home in the evenings?? I wouldn't change my evenings at all....i love the time I get to spend with her reading to her, playing with her "baby" toys, bathing her etc. But i feel like I'm not doing all I could be with her when my time like that is rushed!!!
IF ONLY I HAD A BIGGER PLACE!!!! Then it'd be perfect!!!! I could have be with her all day and introduce her to the things I'd like to at her young age and as well as other children!! And can still make an income doing it!!!

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda

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